Everyone Has Scars
by PurpleMagenta
Summary: Re-imagining of Zuko's decision to leave. Zuko's father makes Zuko pay for his princehood, and he leaves to try to join Aang. He notices Zuko is not himself and tries to help him fulfill his destiny as well as learn from Zuko. Semi-graphic rape, violence. Adopted this story from orangekangaroo, chapter 2 and later chapters will be mine, chapter 1 is still orangekangaroo's work.


**© PurpleMagenta (2012)**

* * *

Zuko laid on his side, trembling, but not from the cold. His clothes had been discarded somewhere close, but he didn't move to get them. He didn't move at all.

_How did this happen? I am a prince on the Fire Nation! I am his son! _Zuko finally tried to stand up, only to fall back down as pain shot through his body. His beautiful, soft sheets were bloody and wrinkled from what had transpired earlier. His own father had come to Zuko's room, and at first Zuko thought that maybe his father had come to speak with him about his responsibilities when the eclipse happened. But he was wrong.

Fire Lord Ozai entered the room where Zuko had been in the process of undressing for bed.

The servants left, and Ozai locked the door behind them. Zuko watched his father warily.

"What do you want, father?" A cold grin crossed the man's face.

"You certainly grew to be a fine looking young man." The grin disappeared. "I let you come back home, I gave you all the same perks of of being royal that your sister enjoys. It's time to pay up." He ripped the night shirt from his son's body in one strong movement.

"What are you doing?" Zuko back away and took a fighting stance. Ozai laughed at him, and shot lightning at him. Zuko was too stunned to redirect it, and he was knocked out for a moment. By the time he had regained his senses, his hands were tied behind his back and he was on the bed. "What is this?"

"You may be a prince by day, but at night this is all you're good for!" The tear of fabric, the feel of ropes binding his hands even tighter so he couldn't firebend. "This is the price you pay for my love. Every night, prince." Ozai slowly undressed himself until he was naked except for his hair thing. He climbed on the bed and pulled his only son's pants down part-way. Zuko's eyes widened as he realized what his father was about to do and he started struggling until a sharp pain informed him that his father had used a chi-blocking move to paralyze him. Ozai lifted his son's hips and positioned himself for what he was about to do. "Don't you want to make me happy?"

Zuko felt his own father violate him, break him inside, make him bleed in ways he had never bled before. The pain was so consuming, so intense, that Zuko tried to scream for anyone to help him, but there was no answer. When his father finally finished raping his son, and making his son pleasure him in disgusting ways, the fire lord dressed and strode out of the room. "The eclipse is tomorrow. Be ready."

He left his only son crying in a puddle of blood and other fluids, broken and scared of what the next day would bring.

He thought back to the conversation he had with his uncle awhile before. It was true. He had everything he ever wanted, but now he was finding out the cost. _This isn't right. None of it. He's insane. I cannot stay here._

But for the moment, Zuko curled into a ball and allowed himself to cry silently at the sins of his father.

* * *

Zuko was sitting alone in the small room Sokka had brought him to. The picture of him and his uncle laid in front of him, and he was reminded of a better time. He was so far away in thought he didn't hear Aang come in, but when the younger boy placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder Zuko jumped. "Whoa! Zuko, what's wrong?" Aang's clear eyes stared at Zuko with a concern Zuko had only ever seen in his uncle's eyes.

"Oh, um...nothing. What do you want?" He moved slightly away from Aang, almost unconsciously. Aang was confused, but he shook it away.

"I was just wondering when our first firebending lesson will be."

"Tomorrow morning." Zuko stood. "Be ready when the sun comes up." Aang knew something was wrong. Zuko didn't sound right. He sounded...sad, and almost scared.

"Ok. Um, Zuko...are you alright?" He tried to place his hand on Zuko's shoulder again, but the older boy flinched away from his touch.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Aang opened his mouth to speak. "I'm fine!"

"Ok, ok. So I'll...see you later?" Aang read the confused expression on Zuko's face. "You know, for dinner?"

"Oh. Sure, I guess." He felt surprised that he was already invited to eat with his old enemies. "If you want me to come."

"Zuko, you're part of the group. Not a prisoner." Aang walked to the door. "Whatever happened in the past is in the past. It may take awhile for the others to warm up to you, but they will. I promise."

Zuko sat silently as he mulled over Aang's words. The past is the past, true. But Zuko couldn't move on, not just yet. His father had scarred him so much over the years, but the last time made Zuko feel so ashamed. If the Avatar of all people knew how weak he was, Zuko would lose the only people who might care about him.

That night he dreamed about his father coming to find him until he felt himself shook awake. "Zuko!

Zuko, wake up!" Two large eyes peered at him. "You were talking in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?"

"Nothing. Sorry I woke you. Did I wake the others?" Zuko quickly wiped the sweat from his face.

"No, just me. My room is closest. Do you want to talk about it?" Aang sounded so worried, almost like he and Zuko were friends.

"No, it's nothing. Go back to bed. Training starts tomorrow." Aang shrugged and left. Zuko stayed awake for hours afterward, scared of his dreams.

* * *

"Ok. Firebending is not something to fear. It is something to respect. If you fear it, your fire will go out. If you do not respect it, those around you will get burned." Zuko took a deep breath. "Now, it's time for to show me what you can do. Try to summon fire, any fire. But do not let it consume you."

Aang nodded and tried to summon fire. All that came was a puff of smoke.

"Um...can I have a demonstration?" Aang blushed. Zuko nodded.

"Stand back a little more." Zuko punched, and a small burst of flame came from his hand instead of his usual large flames. "What was that?" He tried again, and again. But the fire wouldn't come. "What's happening to me?"

"Maybe...it's the altitude?"

"Yeah, maybe." Zuko turned away. _Or maybe it's because I'm broken inside._

* * *

Zuko stood in the firelight. "Guys, I've lost my firebending."

"What?" Katara tried to stifle a giggle. "That would have been nice a while ago."

"This is serious. If I can't firebend, I can't teach Aang." Zuko sat heavily. "I'm sorry."

"Why can't you-" Toph was cut off.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Zuko lowered his voice. "I think it's because I" _was raped by my own father and now I'm broken. "_switched sides. Became good."

"That's possible. You used to draw on rage for fire. You need a new source. A pure source. I was taught by badger moles to use my bending as an extension of myself."

"And the monks taught me, but the flying bison was the original airbender." Aang smiled at Appa.

"Hey buddy, can you teach me sometime?"

"That doesn't help me much. The original firebenders were the dragons. And they're extinct. But the original Sun Warriors, the first human firebenders, had a city not far from here. Maybe if we go there..." He trailed off.

"So, what? Your plan is to stand where they stood and magically soak up some firebender mojo?" Sokka laughed until Katara nudged him.

"Hey, it's worth a shot." Aang laid back. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"You want to come with me?" Zuko's eyes widened slightly.

"Well, yeah. You need Appa, or you'll never get there. And I'm not going to let you go alone." Aang smiled at him. "Now sit with us." Zuko smiled a little smile, almost imperceptable to anyone else.

* * *

**Flashback by Zuko.**

* * *

Aang sat on Appa's head, watching the land below. He and Zuko had left for the abandoned city a few hours earlier, and niether had said a word since.

"Can't this thing fly any faster?" Zuko was draped over the side of the saddle on Appa's back, and he had a faraway look in his eyes.

"Hey, Appa's flying as fast as he can. You should try a little postive attitude." Aang flashed a smile. Zuko groaned and rolled his eyes, though his heart obviously wasn't in it. "It'll be awhile before we stop to rest Appa. You should try to get some sleep. You don't look like you've had any in awhile."

"Oh, ok. Yeah, I guess I can do that." _No, I can't. I can't close my eyes and not see his face. _"Just wake me when you stop." He laid down in the saddle and closed his eyes. He wasn't really planning to fall asleep, but he did.

* * *

_Ozai leaned in close to Zuko's ear after his first attack. "Your sister paid the price. She paid it many times, and she was glad to do it. But you...you've accumulated quite the debt." He straightened and pulled himself out of his son. Zuko felt a wave of relief wash over him. But it was short lived. "Oh, you don't get off that easily." Zuko felt a firey pain on his inner thighs, and he realized that his father was burning him with fire. He tried not to scream, but it was no use. Ozai grabbed his son's shoulders and rammed himself back into his son's entrance with such force that even the guards two halls down could hear the prince's screams. But no one came to his rescue. _

_"Stop father! Please!"_

_Ozai laughed as he stepped off the bed and walked so he was right in front of Zuko. Zuko felt his head lifted by his hair and he realized that his father's member was right in front of his face. "Now, son._

_Let's see if you're as good at this as your dear sister was. She always took such pleasure in her...work." Zuko tried to keep his mouth shut, but he couldn't..._

* * *

"Zuko! Zuko, wake up!" Aang started to panic as Zuko resisted his attempts to wake him. He turned to the small stream that ran by the clearing he had set Appa down in as soon as Zuko started screaming. Aang bended some water to himself and dumped it on Zuko. Zuko shot up and swung his arms wildly, small flames jetting from his fingers. "Whoa! Zuko, cut it out! Zuko!" Aang grabbed the older boy's wrists and managed to make eye contact. Zuko's eyes focused and filled with tears.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. Aang felt his heart break for his former enemy and he pulled Zuko into a tight hug. Zuko stiffened and at first tried to pull away from the touch.

"Zuko, I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." Aang tightened his hold. Zuko felt the tears sliding down his face now. He had never been hugged by anyone like this since he betrayed his uncle. Zuko allowed himself to relax into Aang's embrace as the Avatar rocked him back and forth.

"I'm pathetic."

"No, you're not. Tell me what happened." Aang rubbed Zuko's back the way Katara did when she healed the wound on his back.

"I can't. I'm fine." He prayed that Aang would see he was lying, and he did. Aang was innocent, but he could read people.

"You're obviously not. I mean, you were screaming for someone to stop in your sleep, and you hate hugs but you're still hugging me. Something happened to you, and it was obviously bad. Tell me." Zuko took a deep breath and sat back so he could look Aang in the eye.

"I was in my room...the night before the eclipse. And I was getting ready to sleep for a few hours so I would be ready for the invasion when my...f-father came in. He told me that...I had to pay the price for my princehood. The same price my sister paid." He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair.

"Zuko, what price was he talking about?" Aang put a hand on Zuko's shoulder, but yanked it back when Zuko flinched at the touch. "Sorry!"

"No, it's ok. I just...I don't like to be touched...right now." He averted his eyes.

"Zuko, what did your father do?"

"He...he tied me up and paralyzed me...and then...then..." He tried to force the words out. "He...he...I can't! I'm so weak!" Aang pulled him back into his embrace and Zuko buried his face into Aang's shouler.

"No you're not. You can do it." Aang already had a feeling he knew what happened, and the thought made his stomach turn. His brain screamed for him to run, but he couldn't leave his friend like this.

"You are the strongest person I have ever met. What did he do to you?"

"He...he..." Zuko gritted his teeth. "He raped me! Over and over!" He sobbed into Aang's shoulder as the younger boy started rocking him again. Tears also fell down Aang's face. "I should have stopped him! I should have been able to protect myself."

"No, Zuko. Your father is a monster, and you are not to blame." Zuko allowed his friend to sooth his shame, but something else bothered him.

"He said that...Azula liked to pay the price." Zuko spat the word out. "It's not the first time he's done this to someone."

"But it will be the last. I'll stop him. I promise." Zuko suddenly stood and walked back to Appa. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I burdened you with my sad story. I shouldn't have told you. I should be able to deal with this." Appa, as if sensing Zuko's pain, nuzzled the firebender affectionately. Zuko rubbed the flying bison's furry head. "I'll understand if you wish to find a new teacher."

"Zuko, you don't have to do everything alone. You have friends. You have us. You have-"

"I have my uncle." Zuko hung his head in shame. "At least I used to. Why would he love me now? I betrayed him after everything we've been through, and I am the bearer of the greatest shame my father could think to give."

"I can't tell you how this will end, but I know one thing. Your uncle loves you." Zuko smiled.

"Not anymore. No one loves me. I have no one!" Zuko realized how pitiful those words were the moment he said them.

"Are you deaf? I told you that you have us. Me, Sokka, Toph, Appa, Momo, and even Katara. You are one of us, and we'll take care of you like we take care of each other."

"Why? Why do you care so much about me after everything I've done to you?" Zuko was whispering again. "How can you still look at me with respect after what happened to me?"

"Because...you're my friend. And I believe that the ability to forgive your worst enemies is the best way to prove your strength." He joined Zuko to rub the happy flying bison. "And I respect you because you are a fierce, proud warrior with the heart of a lion turtle. You have enough determination for the rest of us to share." Zuko felt some of the weight on his heart shift under Aang's kind words and gaze.

"Thanks. For everything." He climbed up into the saddle. "Let's go."

As Appa took flight again, Zuko couldn't see the tears streaming down Aang's face. Aang cried for his friend, and for the cruelty in the world. But Zuko was in a mercifully dreamless sleep, at peace for the moment.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" Aang sat in the saddle with Zuko, confident that Appa could keep going straight for awhile on his own. Zuko remained silent like he had been for the last hour since he opened up to Aang. "Zuko, why did you...why did you tell me all that? I know that it must have been really painful...and we don't exactly have a great history."

"I suppose...I needed to tell _someone_. And I think that I was hoping...maybe you could...help me." He paused for a moment to make eye contact with Aang.

"You know, it's weird, when you think about it. You used to spend every hour trying to find me."

"And yet, here I am, riding a flying buffalo." Appa snorted. "Sorry, bison. And I'm trying to help you take down my own father." Zuko shifted uncomfortably. "Um, Aang? Please don't...you know, tell anyone else about what my father did to me, okay?"

"You told me those things in trust. I swear I will never tell anyone."

"Not even Katara. I see the way you look at her." He smiled a little at the way Aang blushed. "You have to promise me."

"I give you my word as the Avatar." Zuko raised an eyebrow. "Hey, come on! You must have had someone back home you...liked." Now it was Zuko that blushed.

"Yeah, I suppose I did. For awhile. But now...after everything that's happened..." Zuko shook his head. "She'll never...I can never face her again. Even the thought of being...intimate...with someone scares me. Stupid, right?"

"No, Zuko, that's not-"

"Yes it is! I have been through so much that most grown men don't ever go through. I should be able to move on! Why can't I...Why can't I get over this?" Zuko was almost yelling now.

"Zuko..."

"No! I don't even know why I told you my father raped me! And don't give me that 'you're a strong person' nonsense!" Now Zuko was yelling. "How can you sit there and think that your little words of wisdom are actually helping me?" Something in Aang snapped.

"FINE! What do you want me to say? That you're weak? That I could never respect you again? You're

not welcome in our group anymore?" Aang's eyes blazed with frustration as Zuko sat speechess at the outburst. "Answer me! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" When the older boy still refused to answer, Aang threw his hands up. "Whatever." He took his postition on Appa's head and picked up the reins.

Zuko mentally scolded himself. _What is wrong with me? He was only trying to be nice! Why would I say that to him? If I didn't trust him, why did I bare my soul to him like that? _Zuko thought for a moment, and came to a conclusion.

"A-Aang?" The Avatar sighed and turned his head to look at Zuko, but the words died on his lips. The once proud Zuko was on his knees in a gesture of supplication with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Zuko, you don't-"

"No, let me finish. I didn't mean to yell at you." Zuko took a shuddering breath, still on his knees in front of Aang. "It's just that...It's been so long since I've been able to trust someone without worrying they would use my weaknesses against me." Zuko looked down at his hands. "Please don't be mad at me."

Aang hopped over to kneel in front of Zuko. "Look at me." Zuko lifted his caramel eyes to meet Aang's. They were kind and full of understanding like they always were. "Zuko, you don't have to apologize. I know that I can never really understand how you feel, and I realize that my words might seem...inadequate. But believe me. I'll never hurt you by betraying your trust."

"Even after everything I've done to you, you're trying to make me feel better. I don't deserve a f-friend like you, but I...I n-need one. I was just too stubborn to admit I needed help." Zuko covered his face with his hands to hide his tears. "I always have been. But not anymore. I realize that I need...need..." He stopped.

"What do you need, Zuko?" Aang put a hand on Zuko's shoulder, and was gratified to see that he didn't flinch away.

"I need...I need help. This is...This is the reason I can't firebend. I lost my fire." He laughed wryly. "No, it was taken from me. I'm broken inside. Too broken to feel rage to fuel my fire. I'm just...empty."

"Then you need a new fire. Rage can't be the only way to summon fire. If it were, then how would your uncle do it? He seemed very...not rageful." Aang glanced over the side of Appa.

"What? Are we there?" Zuko chanced a glance over side too. "Wow..."

"I'd say that's a yes." Aang guided Appa to a landing place. "This is incredible! Look at these ruins!" The childish wonder in his eyes made Zuko feel like maybe all the evil in the world really could be stopped by the young boy in front of him.

* * *

Former Fire Nation general Iroh sat in his tent, drinking his nightly jasmine tea. He appeared calm, but on the inside his thoughts were tumbling through his brain like a whirlwind. He was the head of an old secret society, the White Lotus, and he was trying to bring about the end of a war that he had once fought for. Iroh smiled slightly as he recalled his own advice to his nephew, Zuko. Nothing turns out the way you think it will.

At the thought of Zuko, Iroh's shoulders sagged. His nephew was certainly stubborn, arrogant at times, and even foolish. But Iroh knew that on the inside, Zuko was brave, kind, and loyal to a fault, and it was for these characteristics that Iroh loved Zuko as a son. In his darkest hour, Zuko had taken his hand and shown him that in the face of abosolute tragedy, life must go on.

A man entered the tent, and Iroh identified him as Jeong Jeong, a fellow fire nation deserter.. "Iroh, I

must tell you something." Iroh motioned for him to sit down.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Um...No, thank you. I have to speak with you...about...Well, it's your nephew, Zuko." The man shifted uncomfortably. "You know that we have loyal men inside the Fire Nation, even inside the Fire Lord's palace."

"Yes...What does this have to do with my nephew?" Iroh sipped his tea.

"One of them got a message to us...I think you should read it." He handed the now decoded message to Iroh. Iroh read it, and as he did his face fell. A tea cup fell and shattered on the ground.

"I had heard rumors...But I never really beleived...My own brother...Zuko went through this all by himself." Iroh felt tears filling his eyes.

"Iroh..."

"I would like to be alone, please." Iroh waited for Jeong Jeong to leave before he hid his face in his hands. "Oh, Zuko, I'm so sorry."

The old man cried, oblivious to the cooling tea on the ground. Why did this happen to his nephew? The boy was too young to know how cruel the world could be. He had gone through so much already. Iroh felt a disgust for his brother that he had never felt before for anyone. The man had to be a monster to do those horrible things to his own children! He had to be stopped, and Iroh could only hope that somehow Zuko would find his way to the Avatar.

The screams of his nephew, though unheard by Iroh in reality, rang through his dreams that night, and many nights after.

* * *

Zuko and Aang walked slowing through the ruined city. "Those buildings...they look a little like the fire nation buildings. The style must have been passed down from the ancient warriors to the modern fire benders."

"Well...we learned something about old architecture. But tell me again how this is going to help us?" Aang gestured around. "You know, this whole go-to-an-old-city thing." Zuko sighed.

"We can learn a lot from the past. You just need to listen to the-" Whatever Zuko was going to say was cut off by the sudden appearence of a spiked pit. Aang quickly hopped over it.

"I think the past is trying to kill me!" The younger boy panted, and even though the whole encounter had been a near-death experience, Zuko had to smile at Aang's face.

"This trap must be thousands of years old. Amazing..." Zuko examined the ancient trip wire. "If they set traps, then there must be something worth protecting."

"Yeah, I suppose..." Aang surveyed the area. "Let's try the biggest temple first."

"Why?"

"If you were going to hide something important, and you wanted it to last for thousands of years, where would you hide it?" Aang smiled innocently.

"In the biggest...Oh, whatever. Let's go." Zuko followed his smiling companion, marveling at how the younger boy could stay so happy in the face of death. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes..."

"How do you do it? You know, how do you manage to always make a joke, laugh it off, move on?" Zuko felt Aang's hand on his arm, but he refused to meet his eyes.

"Zuko, I don't. But I can't let others know how deeply I'm affected. I mean, I'm the Avatar. I have to live with my actions because what I do affects the whole world." Aang caught Zuko's face and moved it so the older boy was looking him in the eye. "Why do you ask?"

"I just...Sometimes I want to go back to the way I was before." Zuko took a deep breath. "I want to forget what happened to me, go back in time and warn myself, even if that meant losing everything I've learned in the last few months. Is that selfish?"

"Something terrible happened to you, Zuko. It's not wrong for you to wish that you could go back. But it's not possible. I know it seems difficult, but you can get past this." He pulled Zuko into another quick hug. "And you're not alone anymore."

"Thanks, I guess." Zuko looked up at the temple they were heading for. "We're almost there."

* * *

So far it was orangekangaroo's work.

I've got her lovely permission to adopt the story and make new chapters 3

It's gonna be nice, I'll promise.

If you don't like to read about Zuko abuse/rape/torture and self harm, then it's better to leave =)

_Houdt de wet van drie in ere,_

_Driemaal zullen Uw daden wederkeren._

_Leer deze Wet, en leer hem goed,_

_dat wat je zaait, je ook oogsten moet._

Magenta Domhan Aimitis


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